I used to feel "guilt" when I didn't "feel" the feeling of love towards someone else. Maybe that person wronged me, or seems to be uncaring towards other people, or is on what I consider to be on the wrong side politically, etc. I couldn't seem to dredge up the feeling of love. Then I re-read 1 Corinthians 13, considered the "LOVE" chapter of the Bible. The word for love there was rendered charity in the King James English. The word charity connotes action. The words describing what this is in 1 Corinthians 13 are mainly words of what we do rather than what we feel. Words like "being" patient, kind, not envying, does not boast, etc. To me, that means I can "act" loving without feeling loving. Sometimes I do feel love for someone who wrongs me or others. It doesn't feel natural. It is a supernatural feeling that rises above my usual emotions. I recognize it as agape love. A love that fills me rather than me working it up through thinking. I so believe that Jesus in NOT asking us to continue to allow ourselves to be abused by others. To do so actually harms them by enabling them to remain the way they are. I think of Jesus overturning the tables in the temple. Clearly, there is a line in the sand. I'm reading a book by David Gate, "A Rebellion of Care." He believes it is in our love and care for others that the world (and our country) will become a better place. I believe this too. People will be drawn to love...not hate or chastisement. To be honest, I need a lot of work in this area.
This is brilliant. I was up most of the night writing something very similar. Not from a Christian perspective, but I deeply value that lens. It’s the religion my parents identified with, and many of my closest friends are Christian.
This emphasis on love is a crucial, and often missing, piece in social justice work. I don’t see a path forward unless we learn to love.
I especially appreciate your clarity in addressing common misconceptions about love. Love is not a passive force that simply approves of others’ behavior. Love does not harm and as embodied by the central figure of your faith, love stands against harm being done to the vulnerable.
Love loves for the sake of loving. I’ve come to believe it’s the most powerful force on this planet. That’s why I’ve committed myself to a life of service to Love.
I believe love is the “light burden that is easy to carry” that your Jesus spoke of so long ago. If we are to see peace in our time, it will come on the heels of a love movement unlike anything the world has known. Perhaps then, those who still wear the label of Christian might begin to fully experience the promise: “greater works will you do because I go to the Father.”
I had a conversation about this with a Christian friend about eight years ago. He asked, “What do you want me to do? Walk around like I’m Jesus?”
I replied, “That’s a thought. Boy, would you be a blessing.”
Is it not your apostle Paul who said that Christ in you is your hope of glory? Was he speaking of a different Christ? I think not.
Thank you again for this thoughtful and inspiring post. I’ll be publishing something similar this weekend. From a different perspective, but it’s heartening to see the parallels. May I link to your post when I share mine, in case some of my readers resonate with a Christian identity?
Thank you for this thoughtful and kind response. Feel free to link this article and please send us yours (or tag us) when you post! Looking forward to reading it.
I may not be reading this in the way it was intended or missing something... what about abuse? I'm afraid someone suffering abuse could take away an ongoing need to suffer in order to be like or please Jesus, but I don't think that fits with your writing/beliefs in general. In this writing, it could seem wrong to divorce an unrepentant spouse who is abusive or cheating.
Another way I look at it is that if my friend suffered a crime against her, I would want and pursue justice and restoration. I would also want the same for myself. There is tension between that and what sounds like unending suffering with no legal recourse or boundaries up to and including death here.
I'm a disabled widow. If I had known what I would suffer on a regular basis, I would have become a lawyer. Now I know why there are so many commands to care for the widow, the orphan, the poor and the oppressed. 💔
Thank you for this, Kristen. I woke up to your comment and remembered that I completely forgot to add my usual caveats about abuse and justice when I write on loving enemies or freely forgiving. I've added it now in the article, but I'll also put it here:
It’s important to mention that loving our enemies does NOT mean allowing ourselves or someone else to be abused. It also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work for justice. In fact, working for justice and standing against abuse because even more powerful when we commit to enemy love because we are doing so out of love for both perpetrator and the victim.
As one of the fathers of liberation theology, Leonardo Boff, says, “God flings the proud of heart to the earth, in the hope that they will be delivered from their ridiculous vaunting and flaunting, to become free and obedient children of God and brothers and sisters to others.”
I talk a lot more about how enemy love and calls to “forgive and forget” have sometimes been weaponized in this article if you’re interested in diving deeper.
Hi Kristen. I am sorry you have suffered so much. I think in today’s world people are reckless with their ability to harm others and we wonder how to love them. What works for me is that I have a deep and real faith in my relationship with God and Christ. To love hurtful people is to pray for them, their wellbeing and healing from whatever trauma they themselves have endured. When I pray for their healing I am also healing myself. I find my relationship with the divine is so uplifting to me all I can do is hope they stop if they somehow feel Gods love as I do. Take the hurt and offer it to the earth, their wellbeing sea, the sky, pray to feel only the love God offers us. I think so many people these days are so distant from God and that is causing the difficulties in resolving our anger. Returning ourselves to Gods love restores us and all we encounter. It is easier to let go of negative when we choose to live in the positive. ❤️
I think we have find a way to make positive differences in our own unique and individual ways to help others. When we lift our voices and our bodies (through protests and/or using our voices) and combine those with our faith, we are finding the ladders over the walls and through hatred.
When our souls/energies are focused in ways that nobody else may even notice to help others, that diffuses hatred and focuses us on our missions to help others and ourselves. It feels right. And good to stand together with our faith guiding us in solidarity.
If I allow hatred to rule, I am at a standstill. I am in conflict. Evil loves conflict. I refuse to allow evil and hatred to win even when I find myself struggling. Hatred doesn’t feel good or empowering for me personally. It’s almost like I can feel my soul just dying inside when I experience hatred.
Jesus could have conquered the world when he was here. Quite frankly, with a mere thought. He didn’t, however, and lived as a human personified example of dealing with and facing oppression by staying true to the mission: helping one another, loving one another and finding ways to move forward with these things in mind.
During Felon47 first administration me and my friend were listening to a message about love on Palm Sunday. We looked at each other and said, God loves Trump. I have been praying all these years that God would expose his corruption. I call the Epstein files as another come to Jesus moment in his life, just like the shooting in Pennsylvania. He is loosing his mind. Time is short.
God's Grace is sufficient for those of us who have a past.
I like this. Now explain please how we navigate that right now in this current political climate.
I’ll add anecdotes from my life.
I love my family members despite their Trumpian beliefs. We don’t discuss politics however because the cost of losing our connection includes a followup of brewing anger, possible hatred, and isolation. Meanwhile, I can still peacefully protest and stand with those who are oppressed (which, let’s be honest includes valuing the voices of women like me).
Another example.
I take care of/offer help and assistance to seniors and mobility/cognitively impaired (by the book and or medically diagnosed as such) from various backgrounds. I used to work in facilities; however, many of these places adhere to strict and inhumane systems in practice. I left the last facility I worked for, contacted a state representative’s office as well as a commission and reported my documented experiences. Nothing and no one responded and even after repeated attempts at contact, I didn’t hear a peep from republicans OR democrats in my state (Michigan). Eventually, I started doing what I do now and have been doing now for years. In this way, I am still able to help people despite my inability to change the systems in place.
I believe that it can be easy to get stopped in place by systematic walls. Protesting, letters to elected officials (however, fruitless they may be), and not giving up on the people I serve has been my approach.
While this works for me, it often feels like I am plugging holes in a sinking ship. I love the people I help as Jesus loved the stranger, the marginalized, and the sick.
I won’t give up, however. I will do what I can and the examples of people like MLK are helpful in addressing the evil that flourishes while I still do my work in absolute service to others. I only lose, the people I help only lose, and we ALL lose if we give up hope, faith and stop trying to protest the systems in place which grievously harm us as a whole.
I see speaking out in various ways as the tool for making a difference and positive change, as the workaround or the ladder, if you will over the wall. Focusing on the mission and how I can help makes focusing on the wall represented as hatred much more doable.
We cannot allow hatred to stop us much less invade us personally.
Honestly it sounds like you are navigating this tension incredibly well, Christine! There are no easy answers when it comes to this work. I love how you are leaning into all different avenues to do the work of Jesus in the world.
I'll also add that if someone is offended by the Jesus-centered justice work we are doing, that doesn't mean we aren't loving them. In fact, love often looks like setting boundaries (as you mention with your family member) and continuing to pursue the work of Jesus even in the midst of pushback.
Amen, you are spot on. Having family members with polar opposite beliefs yet still loving them has been a milestone for my own ability to keep moving. I am only able to do that through the teachings and examples of Jesus and people and pastors I listen to. You and Ben Cremer reinforce this for me and that helps tremendously as well as daily prayer and morning scripture reading.
Everyone has to find their way and this is just what works for me. Thank you and Amy for what you do. Providing a space for everyone is so helpful and makes us feel less alone during the turbulence!🌻💕
I’m so grateful for the original post and the comments. I’ve found love thy neighbor to be very difficult the last 8-10 years. I struggle to understand what love thy neighbor means when so many are so toxic to one another. I feel sometimes that standing up for what is right is not agape, but maybe it comes down to how we stand up for those who need it, and doing in a way that avoids buying into that toxicity?
Love your enemies? In this economy? Brother, I can barely afford kindness on sale.
And yet.
Here you are, dragging me back to the Sermon on the Mount like it’s a group text I forgot to mute. Reminding me that enemy-love isn't some aspirational TED Talk material. It's the syllabus of the Kingdom. Required reading. No extra credit.
You laid it out: Jesus didn’t say tolerate your enemies, or ignore them like a bad Yelp review. He said love them. With agape. The kind that doesn’t check if they deserve it. The kind that gets crucified and still whispers forgiveness through broken ribs.
And now, we — comfortably streaming sermons with oat milk lattes — have the gall to ask if it’s “realistic”?
It’s not. It’s resurrection logic. Kingdom calculus. It's the only way we stop being reflections of our enemies and start becoming reflections of Christ.
Thank you, Zach, for reminding us that there are no “those people” in the eyes of a God who still bleeds for every one of us.
We are supposed to love our enemies as Christ would love us. Love this economy, no I don’t. Tarriffs, Tarriffs, are we as 🇺🇸. Are we as citizens of America exhausted by them, well , I am. Epstein-Gate is still on. My guess, it will be covered up like everything else. Poor, President Obama, his A. I . Image is being used in a bad way. Hey Trump voters are you happy? My guess is no way. Are you happy about migrants eating off paper plates, perhaps being chained. No that is very mean. All of us come from Immigrants. Mine came from Great Britain, and Canada 🇨🇦. I’m in this fight for democracy, no matter what.
The economy line in the title was just a play on words since "in this economy??" is a phrase often used in a way that means something like "are you serious??"
Jesus set boundaries against abuses of power in all forms. Which means loving our enemies must often be tough in that we don't allow them to abuse us or give them a free pass to ignore the law. We do not turn the other cheek. Jesus would be first to condemn all corruption and persecution of the marginalized. Jesus was an activist for tough love when the circumstances call for it. As you know I discuss this in great detail in my new book. It's time for all of us to exercise the tough love Jesus did because this tough love conversation is the one Jesus wants us to have in order to save ourselves from evil.
I used to feel "guilt" when I didn't "feel" the feeling of love towards someone else. Maybe that person wronged me, or seems to be uncaring towards other people, or is on what I consider to be on the wrong side politically, etc. I couldn't seem to dredge up the feeling of love. Then I re-read 1 Corinthians 13, considered the "LOVE" chapter of the Bible. The word for love there was rendered charity in the King James English. The word charity connotes action. The words describing what this is in 1 Corinthians 13 are mainly words of what we do rather than what we feel. Words like "being" patient, kind, not envying, does not boast, etc. To me, that means I can "act" loving without feeling loving. Sometimes I do feel love for someone who wrongs me or others. It doesn't feel natural. It is a supernatural feeling that rises above my usual emotions. I recognize it as agape love. A love that fills me rather than me working it up through thinking. I so believe that Jesus in NOT asking us to continue to allow ourselves to be abused by others. To do so actually harms them by enabling them to remain the way they are. I think of Jesus overturning the tables in the temple. Clearly, there is a line in the sand. I'm reading a book by David Gate, "A Rebellion of Care." He believes it is in our love and care for others that the world (and our country) will become a better place. I believe this too. People will be drawn to love...not hate or chastisement. To be honest, I need a lot of work in this area.
This is all SO well said, Linda. There is nothing loving about turning a blind eye to someone being abused or someone abusing others.
Love this reply and love David Gate!
This is brilliant. I was up most of the night writing something very similar. Not from a Christian perspective, but I deeply value that lens. It’s the religion my parents identified with, and many of my closest friends are Christian.
This emphasis on love is a crucial, and often missing, piece in social justice work. I don’t see a path forward unless we learn to love.
I especially appreciate your clarity in addressing common misconceptions about love. Love is not a passive force that simply approves of others’ behavior. Love does not harm and as embodied by the central figure of your faith, love stands against harm being done to the vulnerable.
Love loves for the sake of loving. I’ve come to believe it’s the most powerful force on this planet. That’s why I’ve committed myself to a life of service to Love.
I believe love is the “light burden that is easy to carry” that your Jesus spoke of so long ago. If we are to see peace in our time, it will come on the heels of a love movement unlike anything the world has known. Perhaps then, those who still wear the label of Christian might begin to fully experience the promise: “greater works will you do because I go to the Father.”
I had a conversation about this with a Christian friend about eight years ago. He asked, “What do you want me to do? Walk around like I’m Jesus?”
I replied, “That’s a thought. Boy, would you be a blessing.”
Is it not your apostle Paul who said that Christ in you is your hope of glory? Was he speaking of a different Christ? I think not.
Thank you again for this thoughtful and inspiring post. I’ll be publishing something similar this weekend. From a different perspective, but it’s heartening to see the parallels. May I link to your post when I share mine, in case some of my readers resonate with a Christian identity?
Thank you for this thoughtful and kind response. Feel free to link this article and please send us yours (or tag us) when you post! Looking forward to reading it.
I may not be reading this in the way it was intended or missing something... what about abuse? I'm afraid someone suffering abuse could take away an ongoing need to suffer in order to be like or please Jesus, but I don't think that fits with your writing/beliefs in general. In this writing, it could seem wrong to divorce an unrepentant spouse who is abusive or cheating.
Another way I look at it is that if my friend suffered a crime against her, I would want and pursue justice and restoration. I would also want the same for myself. There is tension between that and what sounds like unending suffering with no legal recourse or boundaries up to and including death here.
I'm a disabled widow. If I had known what I would suffer on a regular basis, I would have become a lawyer. Now I know why there are so many commands to care for the widow, the orphan, the poor and the oppressed. 💔
Thank you for this, Kristen. I woke up to your comment and remembered that I completely forgot to add my usual caveats about abuse and justice when I write on loving enemies or freely forgiving. I've added it now in the article, but I'll also put it here:
It’s important to mention that loving our enemies does NOT mean allowing ourselves or someone else to be abused. It also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work for justice. In fact, working for justice and standing against abuse because even more powerful when we commit to enemy love because we are doing so out of love for both perpetrator and the victim.
As one of the fathers of liberation theology, Leonardo Boff, says, “God flings the proud of heart to the earth, in the hope that they will be delivered from their ridiculous vaunting and flaunting, to become free and obedient children of God and brothers and sisters to others.”
I talk a lot more about how enemy love and calls to “forgive and forget” have sometimes been weaponized in this article if you’re interested in diving deeper.
Ah thank you! Makes much more sense now.
Hi Kristen. I am sorry you have suffered so much. I think in today’s world people are reckless with their ability to harm others and we wonder how to love them. What works for me is that I have a deep and real faith in my relationship with God and Christ. To love hurtful people is to pray for them, their wellbeing and healing from whatever trauma they themselves have endured. When I pray for their healing I am also healing myself. I find my relationship with the divine is so uplifting to me all I can do is hope they stop if they somehow feel Gods love as I do. Take the hurt and offer it to the earth, their wellbeing sea, the sky, pray to feel only the love God offers us. I think so many people these days are so distant from God and that is causing the difficulties in resolving our anger. Returning ourselves to Gods love restores us and all we encounter. It is easier to let go of negative when we choose to live in the positive. ❤️
I think we have find a way to make positive differences in our own unique and individual ways to help others. When we lift our voices and our bodies (through protests and/or using our voices) and combine those with our faith, we are finding the ladders over the walls and through hatred.
When our souls/energies are focused in ways that nobody else may even notice to help others, that diffuses hatred and focuses us on our missions to help others and ourselves. It feels right. And good to stand together with our faith guiding us in solidarity.
If I allow hatred to rule, I am at a standstill. I am in conflict. Evil loves conflict. I refuse to allow evil and hatred to win even when I find myself struggling. Hatred doesn’t feel good or empowering for me personally. It’s almost like I can feel my soul just dying inside when I experience hatred.
Jesus could have conquered the world when he was here. Quite frankly, with a mere thought. He didn’t, however, and lived as a human personified example of dealing with and facing oppression by staying true to the mission: helping one another, loving one another and finding ways to move forward with these things in mind.
During Felon47 first administration me and my friend were listening to a message about love on Palm Sunday. We looked at each other and said, God loves Trump. I have been praying all these years that God would expose his corruption. I call the Epstein files as another come to Jesus moment in his life, just like the shooting in Pennsylvania. He is loosing his mind. Time is short.
God's Grace is sufficient for those of us who have a past.
Pastor Andre Lewis
Thank you.
Extraordinary.
Awesome
I like this. Now explain please how we navigate that right now in this current political climate.
I’ll add anecdotes from my life.
I love my family members despite their Trumpian beliefs. We don’t discuss politics however because the cost of losing our connection includes a followup of brewing anger, possible hatred, and isolation. Meanwhile, I can still peacefully protest and stand with those who are oppressed (which, let’s be honest includes valuing the voices of women like me).
Another example.
I take care of/offer help and assistance to seniors and mobility/cognitively impaired (by the book and or medically diagnosed as such) from various backgrounds. I used to work in facilities; however, many of these places adhere to strict and inhumane systems in practice. I left the last facility I worked for, contacted a state representative’s office as well as a commission and reported my documented experiences. Nothing and no one responded and even after repeated attempts at contact, I didn’t hear a peep from republicans OR democrats in my state (Michigan). Eventually, I started doing what I do now and have been doing now for years. In this way, I am still able to help people despite my inability to change the systems in place.
I believe that it can be easy to get stopped in place by systematic walls. Protesting, letters to elected officials (however, fruitless they may be), and not giving up on the people I serve has been my approach.
While this works for me, it often feels like I am plugging holes in a sinking ship. I love the people I help as Jesus loved the stranger, the marginalized, and the sick.
I won’t give up, however. I will do what I can and the examples of people like MLK are helpful in addressing the evil that flourishes while I still do my work in absolute service to others. I only lose, the people I help only lose, and we ALL lose if we give up hope, faith and stop trying to protest the systems in place which grievously harm us as a whole.
I see speaking out in various ways as the tool for making a difference and positive change, as the workaround or the ladder, if you will over the wall. Focusing on the mission and how I can help makes focusing on the wall represented as hatred much more doable.
We cannot allow hatred to stop us much less invade us personally.
Honestly it sounds like you are navigating this tension incredibly well, Christine! There are no easy answers when it comes to this work. I love how you are leaning into all different avenues to do the work of Jesus in the world.
I'll also add that if someone is offended by the Jesus-centered justice work we are doing, that doesn't mean we aren't loving them. In fact, love often looks like setting boundaries (as you mention with your family member) and continuing to pursue the work of Jesus even in the midst of pushback.
Amen, you are spot on. Having family members with polar opposite beliefs yet still loving them has been a milestone for my own ability to keep moving. I am only able to do that through the teachings and examples of Jesus and people and pastors I listen to. You and Ben Cremer reinforce this for me and that helps tremendously as well as daily prayer and morning scripture reading.
Everyone has to find their way and this is just what works for me. Thank you and Amy for what you do. Providing a space for everyone is so helpful and makes us feel less alone during the turbulence!🌻💕
I was just on a zoom with Ben this morning! We are all in this together, Christine 😁
I’m so grateful for the original post and the comments. I’ve found love thy neighbor to be very difficult the last 8-10 years. I struggle to understand what love thy neighbor means when so many are so toxic to one another. I feel sometimes that standing up for what is right is not agape, but maybe it comes down to how we stand up for those who need it, and doing in a way that avoids buying into that toxicity?
Love your enemies? In this economy? Brother, I can barely afford kindness on sale.
And yet.
Here you are, dragging me back to the Sermon on the Mount like it’s a group text I forgot to mute. Reminding me that enemy-love isn't some aspirational TED Talk material. It's the syllabus of the Kingdom. Required reading. No extra credit.
You laid it out: Jesus didn’t say tolerate your enemies, or ignore them like a bad Yelp review. He said love them. With agape. The kind that doesn’t check if they deserve it. The kind that gets crucified and still whispers forgiveness through broken ribs.
And now, we — comfortably streaming sermons with oat milk lattes — have the gall to ask if it’s “realistic”?
It’s not. It’s resurrection logic. Kingdom calculus. It's the only way we stop being reflections of our enemies and start becoming reflections of Christ.
Thank you, Zach, for reminding us that there are no “those people” in the eyes of a God who still bleeds for every one of us.
This was exactly what I needed to read this morning. Thank you for this eye-opening article.
Preordered the book a month ago....waiting for its release!
You’re welcome.
We are supposed to love our enemies as Christ would love us. Love this economy, no I don’t. Tarriffs, Tarriffs, are we as 🇺🇸. Are we as citizens of America exhausted by them, well , I am. Epstein-Gate is still on. My guess, it will be covered up like everything else. Poor, President Obama, his A. I . Image is being used in a bad way. Hey Trump voters are you happy? My guess is no way. Are you happy about migrants eating off paper plates, perhaps being chained. No that is very mean. All of us come from Immigrants. Mine came from Great Britain, and Canada 🇨🇦. I’m in this fight for democracy, no matter what.
The economy line in the title was just a play on words since "in this economy??" is a phrase often used in a way that means something like "are you serious??"
Jesus set boundaries against abuses of power in all forms. Which means loving our enemies must often be tough in that we don't allow them to abuse us or give them a free pass to ignore the law. We do not turn the other cheek. Jesus would be first to condemn all corruption and persecution of the marginalized. Jesus was an activist for tough love when the circumstances call for it. As you know I discuss this in great detail in my new book. It's time for all of us to exercise the tough love Jesus did because this tough love conversation is the one Jesus wants us to have in order to save ourselves from evil.