The Epidemic of Loneliness

And how we're trying to combat it.

I have always been a bit obsessed with Great Britain, so I was intrigued, several years ago, to see that they were leading the way on a very important issue—combating loneliness.

The position of “Minister” in the UK is similar to what we call “Secretaries” here in the States. Britain has a Minister of State, Minister of Defense, Minister of the Interior, Minister of the Treasury, and so on.

They even have a position called the Minister Without Portfolio which I find to be a hilarious title, and the job description is even more enjoyable and goes something like this: a minister without portfolio is a government minister with no specific responsibilities. Now, that’s a job I could get excited about.

Other than the Minister Without Portfolio, none of the British ministerial positions really jump off the page as you read through them. They are all pretty typical and easy to understand, no matter where you’re from.

That was true until 2018 when then Prime Minister Theresa May announced the creation of a new Minister position. This Minister is now tasked with addressing what many experts are calling an epidemic that:

• affects 9 million Brits every day and many more on a weekly basis

• is something that experts have said is twice as harmful for your health as obesity, and comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day

• has been associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression and anxiety in the individuals it affects

• does not discriminate: it affects old and young, rich and poor, male and female, and every race, ethnicity and lifestyle

When announcing this new minister, Theresa May said, "For far too many people, loneliness is the sad reality of modern life."

The United Kingdom appointed a Minister of Loneliness because the issue of isolation had become so unmanageable, and this was prior to COVID-19.

This loneliness epidemic isn’t confined to the UK, though; many other countries, including the United States and Japan, have begun researching the effects of loneliness on their citizens as well as possible solutions to this problem.

On January 30, 2024, the American Psychiatric Association published an article stating the following:

In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D., M.B.A., called loneliness a public health epidemic. The latest Healthy Minds Monthly Poll from the American Psychiatric Association (APA) finds that, early in 2024, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day. Younger people were more likely to experience these feelings, with 30% of Americans 18-34 saying they were lonely every day or several times a week, and single adults are nearly twice as likely as married adults to say they have been lonely on a weekly basis over the past year (39% vs. 22%).

When asked about a change in their level of loneliness since before COVID, 43% of American adults said their levels of loneliness had not changed, 25% said they were lonelier, and 23% felt less lonely. Most saw a positive role for technology in social connections; most Americans agreed that technology “helps me form new relationships” (66%), “helps me connect with others more frequently” (75%), and “is beneficial for forming and maintaining relationships” (69%).

Chances are that you or someone you know deals with chronic loneliness. Even though this epidemic is more dangerous than obesity and smoking, and contributes heavily to cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression, and anxiety, we have done shockingly little to address it.

It probably won’t surprise you to know that this isn’t a new problem. Humanity has been dealing with loneliness and disconnection since the very beginning of time, and the Bible speaks about it in depth within the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes.

We aren’t sure who wrote Ecclesiastes. Some think it was Solomon and others think it was a different King or Leader, but the important thing to know about the author is that it was someone who achieved every material thing possible in this life: he was rich, famous, and at the top of his field.

And yet, as he nears the end of his time on earth and reflects back on his life, he finds that all his achievements are lacking. Here’s how he opens the book:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:2-3, 9

The author addresses it specifically in chapter 4:

Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”

Ecclesiastes 4:7

Reading these verses leads me to ask this question:

If loneliness has been such a major issue for thousands of years, what can we do to combat it?

There are two common ways of combating loneliness proposed by experts, and they are, oddly enough, seemingly at odds.

The first is unconditional positive regard.

Dr. Larry Crabb, a psychologist, reflects on this severe limitations of this strategy:

“Secularists are sometimes more honest about their longings and better take them into account [than Christians]. But secularists are wrong when they assert, as they commonly do, that connection is available through unconditional positive regard. They tell us that if we draw deeply from the depths of our own souls in order to experience with others whatever they feel and then grant them our thorough acceptance, we’re connecting….

With all my heart, I believe they are wrong.”

Unconditional positive regard is actually damaging to the cause of connection because there’s no authenticity, no vulnerability. It’s essentially telling everyone: “I agree with everyone on everything, no matter what!” It’s the social equivalent of walking by someone who is on fire and saying, “That color looks great on you!”

Unconditional affirmation helps no one because it keeps everyone at arm’s length. It’s impossible to truly connect with someone if you can’t have a real, meaningful, authentic conversation with them.

The second common solution is partisanship.

Partisanship is the belief that cutting off everyone we disagree with allows us to only interact with people with whom we are most compatible. This popular ideology has spawned cable news networks, speciality blog sites, and exclusive organizations devoted to singular ways of thinking.

This belief says that we’ll never be lonely if we only surround ourselves with people we agree with. But there’s a huge problem with this (that we’ve seen play out in election after election). It actually isolates us further.

Partisanship convinces us that we have to agree with someone on everything or we can’t agree on anything. Additionally, it demands that we cut off everyone with whom we disagree. But if we do this, our circle will continue to shrink until there’s almost no one left.

Diversity is a core value of our church, Restore, and has been from the beginning. We believe that we are better together and that the church works best when we embrace and empower the differences around us. We believe in having open and honest conversations about our differences in good faith and with good boundaries. And we believe in agreeing to disagree.

We don’t believe that partisanship or unconditional positive regard are cures for the Epidemic of Loneliness, but, rather, something altogether different. We must combat loneliness with healthy community.

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

What does the author of Ecclesiastes say about loneliness? We are better together.

Two are always better than one, but we have to be real with each other to get there. Life is too short to pretend we don’t need each other.

“We were designed to connect with others: Connecting is life. Loneliness is the ultimate horror. In connecting with God, we gain life. In connecting with others, we nourish and experience that life as we freely share it.”

Larry Crabb

I know that many of you feel isolated due to circumstances you cannot change: geographical location, political beliefs, sexual orientation, etc. If that’s true and you need a place to connect, we hope that Public Theology is a safe place to do just that. Our hope it to continue building healthy community in this space.

As stated in the APA article quoted above:

Most [Americans] saw a positive role for technology in social connections; most Americans agreed that technology “helps me form new relationships” (66%), “helps me connect with others more frequently” (75%), and “is beneficial for forming and maintaining relationships” (69%).

This is more and more true as we see a rise in partisanship and siloing based on religious and political preferences. We’re trying our best to combat this feeling of loneliness by creating a safe and supportive space online here at Public Theology.

Later this week, we’ll be posting an invitation for our paid* subscribers to introduce themselves as part of an effort to build a strong, vibrant, connected community. We hope you’ll join us.

*The paywall is for the protection of our subscribers’ vulnerability and information, as the comments section of any public post can quickly get out of hand. So, as always, if you want to be a part of the paid subscriber crew but have financial limitations, please reach out and we’ll set you up, no questions asked.