I spent almost a decade working at Christian summer camps. I found freedom in Jesus there from my Christian cult, I met my husband there, had both of my children while interning there, and came back as a young wife and mother for two summers as a camp health officer. I loved it! But, when it came time to send my own children to camp, I chose a different path.
They still went to a Christian camp, but it’s a rustic one that focuses on nature and personal growth rather than salvations. The theology is simple, straightforward, and feels safe. The camp recently made some important steps to welcome children who identify as LGBTQ+ which caused reactions but made me even happier that I chose it.
My daughter who is going to be a freshman this next year is going to a classic church camp with a friend this summer and we’ve already had some conversations about what to expect and we will have more before she leaves. I don’t want to limit her, but I want to prepare her for the emotionalism. 😬
I would love to know the name of the camp your kids attend! We are surrounded by glitzy Christian camps and I'm sad that my kids won't experience the magic I did, so I'm glad to know there are calmer options I should consider!
And I LOVE that you are preloading with your daughter 😂 It amazes me how much my kids can understand when I simply take the time to talk through things with them! I'm sure she will be well prepared and have a blast.
Christy, I really love hearing about this. Like you, so many of my favorite memories and formative experiences are from camp, but I've needed a different path for my kids. A rustic place in nature with simple, straightforward, and safe theology warms my heart. I'm so glad to hear about Camp Roger!
I look forward to reading your book! Camp for me has been such a mixed bag, something that I think can be a wonderful experience but something that also needs to be rethought and done better.
Church camp: where rhinestones, repression, and groupthink got baptized in the name of Jesus™.
This post hit like an altar call after cry night—equal parts nostalgia and nausea. We thought we were saving souls. Turns out, we were rehearsing for purity pledges, shame-based theology, and unpaid labor under the gaze of youth pastors with clipboards and opinions on our pants.
Glad we’re naming it now.
Even gladder some of us made it out.
Not all who deconstruct are lost. Some of us just finally got found—outside the bunks and beyond the boundaries.
Woah, this book sounds so good. I want to read it. Thanks for sharing some of your experience. While I wasn't entrenched in the evangelical church, I was into the music scene and was in the fringes due to some friendships/acquaintances. A lot of it makes me cringe.
It is cringey. And complicated for those of us who left and are still trying to process much of what happened/what we now believe. I'm working on a novel about it! Hopefully it will make its way into the world someday. I am not musical so I wasn't in that space, but I had lots of friends who were!
“But the truth is that people who come to Christ out of fear learn to hate their conversion. On the other hand, people who come to Christ out of love, love their conversion. They’re the ones who stick with their faith, ten, twenty, thirty years later.” 18, 19
This. This. This.
Only love creates true and lasting conversion. Fear eventually turns to loathing.
Yup. Those sentences are the beautifully spoken words of theologian Jeff McSwain, who's featured in one of the chapters. He's definitely someone to get to know!
Thanks for sharing, as I suspect MANY of us deal with mixed emotions about our part in the system.
The only camp I personally experienced was "RA" Camp (which old school SBCers will understand) at Camp McCall in S.C. But as soon as I rolled into youth ministry, I began leading camps and Jesus-y type experiences. As a college-age leader, the main goal was to have fun with the kids. As I grew into ministry, I quickly picked up the tricks. "Share a Penny" night. Campfire cry-fests. Baptism in the Lake (never did it, but saw it). Testimony night.
I never considered myself a part of the "system." I'm not one of THOSE types of youth ministers! And yet I was. Deep down, I wanted just enough manipulation to show people we were getting "results" without totally selling out to the format. I don't think all the former campers see it as such--but maybe they do, more than they care to say out loud. I too look at those days with a mix of joy and of horror at my own stereotypical leadership.
One of my proudest moments as a youth minister came at Camp Caswell in North Carolina, during a "missions" week. As my intern and I headed to meet the students at the worship event, he asked me, "What do you think of the speaker?" You know the guy--ripped skinny jeans, spiked hair, etc. I honestly found his messages/methods to be empty and loathsome (intern agreed). We walked up to see our entire group sitting on the steps. They declared, "We're not going in!" As it turns out, they were wise enough to "sniff the grift" if you will. We ended up have study and discussion on our own the remainder of the week--which was better for everyone. Worthy of note: I was much older when leading that particular group.
I remember RAs! We had AWANA at my childhood church, but Zach served as youth minister at a tiny rural church in college and they did RAs. I think we got some things right, absolutely. I just hope it was enough, especially for those who were not in the in group to begin with. Your youth group clearly felt secure enough to use discernment and speak up! I think that's quite rare in youth group settings. Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like you and your team knew enough to show kids a real, safer, more truer gospel. And yes, unpacking and sifting through the many mixed emotions, including how we may have harmed folks along the way, is definitely something so many of us share. In this with you!
I feel like I'm the only person who pretty much loathed the Christian camp experience.
At the first one I attended, I never quite felt like I fit in and I didn't have any friends from church there because they didn't go. The girls weren't very nice and I can only assume that it was because I wasn't the right kind of Christian in their eyes...or there's the fact that the camp groups were super cliquish.
The second one when I was older was better and some of my friends from church did go. I remember one year making the arguable mistake of buying my mom the latest Dallas Holm record instead of saving my canteen money for...well, canteen. That's really almost all I can recall about it.
I'm so sorry, Christine. I was an athletic, outdoorsy kid so camp was right up my alley. I often felt different than my friends, though, especially in high school-- I was too churchy for my school friends and too worldly for my church friends! ha. You couldn't pay me to go back to those years.
Christine, there are so many people who share your experience. I interviewed almost 50 people for the book, and there were a lot of folks who didn't have a great experience - who didn't fit in or find belonging because they weren't what the camp was looking for. Thanks for sharing.
This is a guess. I went to Dallas Baptist University with many of my youth group friends. I decided to transfer out after my first semester which was apparently very troublesome to people from my home church. I think there was an expectation that I would stay at DBU and marry someone from home? Or, if not, at least from within the DBU/Baptist bubble. Ironically, Zach was a Baptist at that time, but he wasn't the right Baptist. It was a very tight circle and I stepped outside the bounds. Some of those adults even talked to my parents about me dating him (even though they didn't know him) and my dad very clearly let them know that it was none of their business. I haven't talked to any of those people in ages! Which still saddens me, but I can't imagine we have much in common anymore.
Oh, my. How very ingrown and tribal. I’m glad you found your way out to a much healthier, happier and more robust life. Thank you for answering my (nosy) query. 🥰
I also grew up Southern Baptist. My first horrible church camp experience was Girls in Action Camp. The boys were there that summer too--the Royal Ambassadors. As GAs, we had to get up early and cook for the boys. I was an extremely shy child and didn't want to be there, and a cruel counselor screamed at me and ridiculed me in front of the entire group of GAs one morning because our cabin got "the dirty sock," which was punishment for the cabin not being spotless. I was probably about eight years old. Apparently, I had left my suitcase unzipped beside the cot, so she decided I was the one to blame for the dirty sock. It kind of destroyed my little self. I left the Baptist church as soon as I got out of high school and never looked back. Seeing my mother embrace the cruelty of Trump over the last several years only made the divide more stark.
Michelle, thank you for taking the time to share this story. There is so much to hold within these interactions that obviously made and had a big impact on your life. And present connections to those who embrace the cruelty of Trump, as you said, is quite real.
I spent almost a decade working at Christian summer camps. I found freedom in Jesus there from my Christian cult, I met my husband there, had both of my children while interning there, and came back as a young wife and mother for two summers as a camp health officer. I loved it! But, when it came time to send my own children to camp, I chose a different path.
They still went to a Christian camp, but it’s a rustic one that focuses on nature and personal growth rather than salvations. The theology is simple, straightforward, and feels safe. The camp recently made some important steps to welcome children who identify as LGBTQ+ which caused reactions but made me even happier that I chose it.
My daughter who is going to be a freshman this next year is going to a classic church camp with a friend this summer and we’ve already had some conversations about what to expect and we will have more before she leaves. I don’t want to limit her, but I want to prepare her for the emotionalism. 😬
I would love to know the name of the camp your kids attend! We are surrounded by glitzy Christian camps and I'm sad that my kids won't experience the magic I did, so I'm glad to know there are calmer options I should consider!
And I LOVE that you are preloading with your daughter 😂 It amazes me how much my kids can understand when I simply take the time to talk through things with them! I'm sure she will be well prepared and have a blast.
It’s called Camp Roger and is in Michigan. The first time I saw it I felt like I was in a movie about old fashioned camp. 😁
Christy, I really love hearing about this. Like you, so many of my favorite memories and formative experiences are from camp, but I've needed a different path for my kids. A rustic place in nature with simple, straightforward, and safe theology warms my heart. I'm so glad to hear about Camp Roger!
I look forward to reading your book! Camp for me has been such a mixed bag, something that I think can be a wonderful experience but something that also needs to be rethought and done better.
My sentiment exactly.
Church camp: where rhinestones, repression, and groupthink got baptized in the name of Jesus™.
This post hit like an altar call after cry night—equal parts nostalgia and nausea. We thought we were saving souls. Turns out, we were rehearsing for purity pledges, shame-based theology, and unpaid labor under the gaze of youth pastors with clipboards and opinions on our pants.
Glad we’re naming it now.
Even gladder some of us made it out.
Not all who deconstruct are lost. Some of us just finally got found—outside the bunks and beyond the boundaries.
—Virgin Monk Boy
Aleksander, you said it well, and yes, I go into all of these things in the book. In this naming and rebuilding and finding with you.
Woah, this book sounds so good. I want to read it. Thanks for sharing some of your experience. While I wasn't entrenched in the evangelical church, I was into the music scene and was in the fringes due to some friendships/acquaintances. A lot of it makes me cringe.
It is cringey. And complicated for those of us who left and are still trying to process much of what happened/what we now believe. I'm working on a novel about it! Hopefully it will make its way into the world someday. I am not musical so I wasn't in that space, but I had lots of friends who were!
Like Amy said, there are a whole lot of cringe-worthy elements now. Thank you in advance for reading - I trust it'll strike a chord.
“But the truth is that people who come to Christ out of fear learn to hate their conversion. On the other hand, people who come to Christ out of love, love their conversion. They’re the ones who stick with their faith, ten, twenty, thirty years later.” 18, 19
This. This. This.
Only love creates true and lasting conversion. Fear eventually turns to loathing.
Yup. Those sentences are the beautifully spoken words of theologian Jeff McSwain, who's featured in one of the chapters. He's definitely someone to get to know!
Thanks for sharing, as I suspect MANY of us deal with mixed emotions about our part in the system.
The only camp I personally experienced was "RA" Camp (which old school SBCers will understand) at Camp McCall in S.C. But as soon as I rolled into youth ministry, I began leading camps and Jesus-y type experiences. As a college-age leader, the main goal was to have fun with the kids. As I grew into ministry, I quickly picked up the tricks. "Share a Penny" night. Campfire cry-fests. Baptism in the Lake (never did it, but saw it). Testimony night.
I never considered myself a part of the "system." I'm not one of THOSE types of youth ministers! And yet I was. Deep down, I wanted just enough manipulation to show people we were getting "results" without totally selling out to the format. I don't think all the former campers see it as such--but maybe they do, more than they care to say out loud. I too look at those days with a mix of joy and of horror at my own stereotypical leadership.
One of my proudest moments as a youth minister came at Camp Caswell in North Carolina, during a "missions" week. As my intern and I headed to meet the students at the worship event, he asked me, "What do you think of the speaker?" You know the guy--ripped skinny jeans, spiked hair, etc. I honestly found his messages/methods to be empty and loathsome (intern agreed). We walked up to see our entire group sitting on the steps. They declared, "We're not going in!" As it turns out, they were wise enough to "sniff the grift" if you will. We ended up have study and discussion on our own the remainder of the week--which was better for everyone. Worthy of note: I was much older when leading that particular group.
Maybe we got some of it right along the way?
I remember RAs! We had AWANA at my childhood church, but Zach served as youth minister at a tiny rural church in college and they did RAs. I think we got some things right, absolutely. I just hope it was enough, especially for those who were not in the in group to begin with. Your youth group clearly felt secure enough to use discernment and speak up! I think that's quite rare in youth group settings. Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like you and your team knew enough to show kids a real, safer, more truer gospel. And yes, unpacking and sifting through the many mixed emotions, including how we may have harmed folks along the way, is definitely something so many of us share. In this with you!
I feel like I'm the only person who pretty much loathed the Christian camp experience.
At the first one I attended, I never quite felt like I fit in and I didn't have any friends from church there because they didn't go. The girls weren't very nice and I can only assume that it was because I wasn't the right kind of Christian in their eyes...or there's the fact that the camp groups were super cliquish.
The second one when I was older was better and some of my friends from church did go. I remember one year making the arguable mistake of buying my mom the latest Dallas Holm record instead of saving my canteen money for...well, canteen. That's really almost all I can recall about it.
I'm so sorry, Christine. I was an athletic, outdoorsy kid so camp was right up my alley. I often felt different than my friends, though, especially in high school-- I was too churchy for my school friends and too worldly for my church friends! ha. You couldn't pay me to go back to those years.
Christine, there are so many people who share your experience. I interviewed almost 50 people for the book, and there were a lot of folks who didn't have a great experience - who didn't fit in or find belonging because they weren't what the camp was looking for. Thanks for sharing.
Amy, why did people in your church have a problem with your dating Zach? 🤔
This is a guess. I went to Dallas Baptist University with many of my youth group friends. I decided to transfer out after my first semester which was apparently very troublesome to people from my home church. I think there was an expectation that I would stay at DBU and marry someone from home? Or, if not, at least from within the DBU/Baptist bubble. Ironically, Zach was a Baptist at that time, but he wasn't the right Baptist. It was a very tight circle and I stepped outside the bounds. Some of those adults even talked to my parents about me dating him (even though they didn't know him) and my dad very clearly let them know that it was none of their business. I haven't talked to any of those people in ages! Which still saddens me, but I can't imagine we have much in common anymore.
Oh, my. How very ingrown and tribal. I’m glad you found your way out to a much healthier, happier and more robust life. Thank you for answering my (nosy) query. 🥰
Yes, it seems quite gross, doesn't it? And I am the nosiest neighbor, so I get it! 😊
I also grew up Southern Baptist. My first horrible church camp experience was Girls in Action Camp. The boys were there that summer too--the Royal Ambassadors. As GAs, we had to get up early and cook for the boys. I was an extremely shy child and didn't want to be there, and a cruel counselor screamed at me and ridiculed me in front of the entire group of GAs one morning because our cabin got "the dirty sock," which was punishment for the cabin not being spotless. I was probably about eight years old. Apparently, I had left my suitcase unzipped beside the cot, so she decided I was the one to blame for the dirty sock. It kind of destroyed my little self. I left the Baptist church as soon as I got out of high school and never looked back. Seeing my mother embrace the cruelty of Trump over the last several years only made the divide more stark.
Michelle, thank you for taking the time to share this story. There is so much to hold within these interactions that obviously made and had a big impact on your life. And present connections to those who embrace the cruelty of Trump, as you said, is quite real.